Why I Hate The Idea Of Revenge
We have all been wronged in our lives and been caught up in situations where we find ourselves angry and vengeful. This is particularly prominent with break-ups. A very common example is the ‘revenge body’ where people who have just gotten out of relationships decide that they are going to go to the gym and get fit in the hopes that their partner will realise their mistake and come running back to them. Now don’t get me wrong, I am all about self-improvement and getting fit. However, self-improvement does not work if you are doing something for someone else. You should be going to the gym and getting your dream body for your own benefit, not so that someone who does not treat you with kindness and respect will come back into your life.
On social media, the idea of revenge is very prominent. I remember scrolling on Instagram and coming across a post that was titled ‘Best ways to get revenge’. The post was filled with ideas such as putting sugar in their gas tank, or selling their clothes they left at your house. Whilst some of the ideas were creative (and a little funny) I still struggle to believe that you will truly feel better about yourself by seeking revenge on those who wronged you. Here are some better ways to move on from anyone in life, without seeking revenge, and why it will be so much more beneficial for you in the long run.
What goes around comes around
Not to quote Justin Timberlake, but what you put into the world will come back to you. Therefore, why are you doing karmas dirty work? Let the universe take control and watch how those people experience the repercussions of their own actions. There is no need to spray paint their car! But just as those people will face the consequences of their actions, so will you, so make sure you are putting out into the world whatever you want to receive.
Emotional intelligence
Reacting emotionally and out of anger will just push people away and make out as though you are not over a situation. If your boyfriend breaks up with you or your best friend decided that they don’t want to hang out with you anymore, simply accept their decision. You cannot control them and their actions so there is no point in begging or promising to change. The fact that you are not begging them for an explanation leaves you looking like you don’t need those people in your life, and to be honest, if they are willing to simply walk out of your life like that, chances are you actually do not need them in your life.
Personal experiences
Everybody comes into your life to teach you a lesson. God would never put you through anything that you cannot handle. Therefore, if that person causes pain in your life, it’s all part of the plan and will make sense further down the line. Getting revenge on that person will not help you get further in life. It’s also important to remember that the pain you may be going through at the moment cannot compare to the joy that is coming. So keep that in mind and keep moving forward.
Behind closed doors
You have no idea what anyone in your life is truly going through. Although their actions may have hurt you, there may have been a personal reason behind them that you cannot see. Seeking revenge or acting out of anger towards them will not help their situation. Accept their actions towards you and do whatever you need to do to move on in a healthy and graceful way.
Loved ones
Usually, when we act out of anger it is due to the fact that someone that we truly loved and trusted has taken us for granted. If we didn’t love them then we wouldn’t feel so passionately about their actions towards us. Although these people may have hurt us, doing the same back to them is no form of love. We treat others how we want to be treated and never want to see them go through the same pain we did. Anger will wear off and soon you will realise that taking a step back instead of acting out maliciously is one of the best forms of self-growth.
Finding peace
This relates back to what I was saying before about loved ones. Personally, I would find it very difficult to find peace from a situation if I had acted maliciously towards someone who I once loved and trusted. Finding peace requires acceptance of the situation that happened and usingwhat you learnt to move forward in life. It does not involve making a fake account to troll them on. Additionally, finding peace allows us to grow and glow so if and when they do come back into your life, you are strong enough to not let yourself be hurt by them again and realise that you deserve the same love you give to others.
Actions
I was once talking to my friend at work about his past relationship where he woke up one morning to a text from his girlfriend which said she wanted to break up after a 3 year relationship. Of course, he was very upset by this and by that night she had blocked him on everything and collected all her stuff. I asked him how he can trust people again after being completely ambushed by his ex. He told me that in life, you cannot control how people act towards you. He might get caught in that exact same situation again, that does not mean that he will not trust his next partner for they are a completely different person with different morals. Don’t let how other people act determine how you act towards others in the future.
Any situation where a loved one hurts you can be very tough. I am sure we have all been there. The important thing is to move on in a healthy way and avoid regretting the choices you made out of anger. Try to surround yourself with those who wouldn’t dream of betraying you in a such way and learn to be okay without them in your life. This may be hard initially, but as Max said in Stranger Things, ‘There’s more to life than stupid boy, you know.’
Focus truly on yourself and you will be okay.