Be Confident And Stop Doubting Yourself
Many people believe that confidence is an attribute that the lucky few have been gifted through genetics or upbringing – a natural characteristic which some are blessed with and the rest of us are left wishing for. However, this is not the case. You don’t need perfect genetics or a GMO-free diet to master confidence. It all comes from your mindset. Our thought processes have a lot of influence on how we live our day-to-day lives. Once our thought processes are shaped to build us up instead of doubting ourselves, we can achieve anything. I recently read a Forbes article which dived into the psychology behind confidence and how we can use our mindset to our advantage. The article explores how the beliefs we hold shape our lives, whether they are true or untrue. So why not rewire our brains to believe the best of ourselves?
Here are my top tips for the mental rewire you may require for this year:
You, you, you
Everyone perceives you in a different way meaning there are a million different versions of you out there in the world. As scary as that thought may be, it is key to remember that nobody knows you better than you. Therefore, why would you doubt yourself? If you believe that you can start that business, win at that sport, or thrive in that career, why would you stop yourself from trying? In life there are always people that will tell you that you cannot do something. Don’t let the voice of doubt win, learn to trust your own voice and watch how many doors of opportunity open for you.
Validation
Keeping to the same topic of training that inner voice to lift you up is the idea of validation. We may receive validation from friends, family, crushes, and etc. But was is essential is the way we value ourselves. I remember a time when I would value myself based of my academic success. If I received a bad grade, the self-doubt would begin, and I would deem myself unworthy of certain opportunities because I didn’t receive the ‘perfect score’. Whilst it is always good to strive to be good at what we love, it’s important to remember that only you can determine your worth. A bad grade does not mean you are unworthy. That goes the same for boys. I know too many girls (including myself during my teenage years) who relied on validation from boys, which is so stupid! Validate yourself! Know that you are worthy of all things that come your way and that nobody has the power to validate your worth. Once you realize this, your confidence will soar, and people will realize that you cannot be manipulated.
Body Language
Confidence is hard to master but easy to fake. Sometimes you have to fake it till you make it, and the best way to do this is to appear physically confident. I have watched so many videos about this when trying to improve my confidence. Here are main tips I have learnt
Keep your eye on the prize: while walking around in the street or to school, make sure you are looking up. Looking down at your feet creates this idea of unease and looks as though you are trying to hide away. It’s okay if you find this hard at first. Try to focus on a point in the distance, or note the things you see when looking around. As long as you are looking forward, things will start to look up!
Eye contact: extremely daunting, I know. I learnt how to do this from watching ‘The Office’ where Dwight explains how looking between the eyebrows gives the illusion of eye contact – ‘It’s an old sales trick!’.
Uncross your arms: Crossing your arms, biologically, creates the idea of unease as it hints at the idea that you are trying to protect yourself. It dates back to cave man times.
Good posture: not only is this actually good for your health-wise, but it also creates an image of self-assurance. Practices such as yoga and pilates can help you to physically train your back to improve your posture, but it’s also something to remember to correct.
The Clueless Technique
Nothing brings confidence like a classic makeover! Take the time to find new makeup looks and hairstyles that suit you and make you feel good about yourself and watch how the confidence will naturally flow. I mean if it can help Mia Thermopolis become queen of Genovia, I’m sure it’ll help you gain some self-love.
Check Your Surroundings
Who we surround ourselves with is very important. if the people in your life are constantly telling you negative things about yourself, it can be hard to build your inner voice to bring you up. Take some time to yourself to gain that foundation of self-assurance. Once you have gained this, the real and fake friends will become distinguishable. Additionally, surrounding yourselves with people who want to achieve great things and have distinct goals will unconsciously inspire you to act the same.
Get Scared
This tip goes for everything in life. You are never going to grow if you are stuck in your comfort zone. Push yourself to do the things that intimidate you, and soon enough, you will realize how easy these things are. I used to despise public speaking, so I signed myself up for the English Speaking Award at my school, which required giving four different presentations in front of my entire school. Now I know that there is nothing to be scared of. Take the opportunity to challenge yourself and soon you’ll forget you were scared of anything!
Don’t get me wrong, building up your self-assurance and blocking out voices from the people around us is not easy. But once achieved, it creates a sense of freedom within your life where you have the opportunity to do whatever you want without worrying about how you will be perceived. Never let anybody restrict your potential, remember your worth and walk with your head held high.